Chris Harders. Conquer Tinder – The Official Tinder Playbook
Conquer Tinder by Chris Harders is a 77 page ebook that shows you how to get real results with Tinder, one of the hottest apps around. There’s no fluff or theory here, it’s pretty much all just an actionable guide that you can put to use right away.
What Exactly Is Tinder?
Tinder is a social app available for download on the iOS and Android app stores. The basic premise of it is that it only lets users chat with each other if they have both indicated they ‘like’ each other.
You need to use your Facebook profile to create your account, and then you can set the criteria for people you want to meet, based on gender, age range and distance from you. When you see someone’s profile, you swipe them to the right if you like them and to the left if you don’t. If you both select each other, you’re able to begin chatting.
It’s really become a global phenomenon and is particularly popular with the 18-35 year old market. If you’re looking to increase the amount of women that you’re meeting, then Tinder is a really effective way to help you do that.
Tinder – The Hook Up App?
There’s a conception out there that Tinder is just a hook up app, and people are only using it to meet people for casual sex. This is in part due to its similarity to an app called Grindr, which works the same but for the gay community.
No doubt many people do use Tinder with the intention of hooking up, especially the men. But Chris points out in his book that for many women it’s just a fun app that they can use to help them pass the time. They don’t take it too seriously and aren’t necessarily looking to go out on dates with people they chat to. Especially for a lot of the younger women on there, chances are they have quite busy social lives and aren’t short of options for dates.
So the book is entirely focused on what you need to do to be one of the guys that stands out enough that women will want to meet up with you in real life. To that extent, it does a good job. It shows you how to keep things light and fun, and not do anything that would rule you out in the girl’s mind – so it’s all about playing the percentages and ensuring you get the date.
It would have been interesting to see a bit more advanced advice, and how you can create more sexual tension while chatting on Tinder, instead of just the social and fun vibe. For a lot of guys, this is why they are on Tinder, and if you know what you’re doing you can definitely meet girls who are up for no strings attached fun.
If you read the sales page it leads you to believe that you will be able to message girls and have them come right over to your house and sleep with you. While this is possible, there are no examples of this in the book and you’re not shown how to do it.
In the conversational exchanges shown in the book, there were some opportunities to inject some sexuality into the mix, which Chris chose not to do. Fair enough, as although it can lead to a higher reward it also carries a higher risk of the girl not wanting to meet up if you get it wrong. But if your goal is the same as what Chris states, to take her home the same night, it can be a good idea to push the boundaries a bit and see where her interest levels are at.
Tinder Versus Online Dating
While there are similarities to online dating, there are also many differences. With online dating, women are on the site with the express purpose of looking for men to date. On Tinder, some women are using it to date while others are using it just for fun and for social reasons. As such, it requires a different approach, which Chris explains well here.
When you’re constructing an online dating profile you will need to be more detailed and spend some time writing about yourself and what you’re looking for. Also when sending messages, they could be anywhere from one sentence up to a few paragraphs.
With Tinder, there is no written profile to create. And since you’re on your phone it doesn’t make sense to write long detailed messages, as this will look like you are trying too hard. So if you try and apply techniques that work in online dating to Tinder, you could be setting yourself up to fail.
Chris shows you how to construct the right messages and how to keep them short and fun. The one thing he teaches that many guys would likely need help with, particularly if they’re older, is how to use ‘girl talk’ in your messages. This is all about messaging girls in a similar style to what they use, to help build rapport and for them to see you as fun.
Importance Of Photo Selection
As there is no written profile like in online dating, women pretty much only have your photos to judge you on. Chris admits that photos account for 95-100% of a woman’s decision in selecting you or not. Clearly it’s something you need to get right.
If you’re good looking and have a good sense of style it will be a huge help. But they’re not the only thing that matters, as Chris talks about the importance of demonstrating in your photos that you are fun. This is something that anybody can accomplish.
There’s a lot of detail here on how to select the right photos and how you want to incorporate variety into the pictures you use. Chris includes his own photos from his Tinder profile as well as the reasons he chose them, as well as how they could have been improved.
Aside from this, he also shows you the photos that he came close to using but that just missed the cut. He really analyzes why he felt they weren’t good enough, and no doubt has put a level of though into this beyond what most men would consider. This is something you can learn from.
Example Conversations That Led To Dates
There are word for word transcripts included of message exchanges with four different girls that agreed to meet Chris for a date. This makes up about 20 pages of the book, and gets quite in-depth as he provides commentary on each of the messages, including why he said what he did and how he might have corrected any mistakes with hindsight.
Probably the biggest takeaway from this for many guys will be that there isn’t anything spectacular you need to do to get a girl to meet you. Most of the texts he sends are very simple, and in many ways is more about avoiding doing anything that will ruin your chances. After all, the girl is already attracted to you somewhat if she has selected you.
I would say that perhaps at times Chris appears to be too analytical in regards to his messages. He breaks things down in such minute detail that at times he might suggest the benefit of using a dash versus a comma, and the danger is you can get hung up on things that won’t make that much difference. He does have a particular technique in regards to punctuation at the end of sentences that he says increases response rates, so you might want to test that one out.
The other thing you’re taught is how to take the chatting off of Tinder, and a few easy ways to justify getting her number. This is good, as the longer you keep chatting on there without progressing things to the next level, the higher the chances of losing the girl. So there are also examples shown of how to message the girl once you’ve got her number, and by doing this you become more real to her rather than just another guy she’s chatting to on Tinder.
The Bottom Line
If you’re new to Tinder, or not having the success with it that you’d like, this is a great product to check out. Be aware though that your photos will be by far the major factor here, so the better your looks and image/fashion, the better you’ll do.
The book is well written and professionally put together, and it’s obvious the author has a lot of experience and has gotten real results himself. It focuses just on what you need to do to set up a date with girls from Tinder, so for having success on the date and beyond you’ll either need to have some dating experience or check out other products that focus on this area.
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