The Heart & Soul of True Intimacy by Ken Page
Do you believe in the power and importance of deep romantic love and yearn to bring this soul-filling, authentic love into your life — yet feel it’s somehow always just out of reach?
Are you tired of shallow dates, fleeting connections and new relationships that don’t last? AND, if you’re in a relationship, do you long for the spark and deep joy you once had or — better yet — to cultivate deeper intimacy and romantic passion?
The search for deep, true, lasting intimacy is perhaps the most important and precious journey of our lives.
Authentic romantic love feeds our sense of inner joy and stability and deepens the quality of our days and nights — science even says it benefits our health. And in the long run, most of us would agree that the love in our lives is definitely what matters most.
That’s why the greatest gift you can give yourself is learning the skills of love.
AND, believe it or not, the journey to discovering and cultivating love is actually meant to be one of the great spiritual and emotional journeys of your entire life!
There’s no deeper journey than your journey of learning to find and keep love. And because the intimacy journey is so much a journey of your deepest self, the true path to finding love is also a path to your own soul, to your inner greatness.
It’s a journey that can transform your life and teach you the most important love skill of all — how to reveal your “Core Gifts” and to share them with bravery, generosity and discrimination.
Your Core Gifts are the often challenging treasures of your soul. They’re the places where you experience the greatest sensitivity and passion. Often, they’re the parts of yourself that you feel ashamed of, or embarrassed by, or think you need to cover up in order to be successful in love — but the exact opposite is true!
Your Core Gifts provide you with direct access to deeper love and to your own personal greatness.
That’s because, when you learn to embrace and treasure these qualities in yourself, true love opens up in your life. You start to choose people who are better for you. You deepen the love that you have. You take a stand for deeper, richer intimacy. You discover the unique powerhouse of your own soul.
When you avoid these qualities, or suppress and bury them, you actually turn against yourself — and, in turn, life feels like it turns against you.
To bear the heat of true love, it’s essential that you discover how to recognize and cherish your own unique Core Gifts, which are as individual as your own fingerprints.
Because, when you can do this, your world opens up.
Yet most often, the advice we receive about love — how to find it, grow it and nurture it into a lasting love that can shine and fill our souls — focuses more on the superficial, making us believe that we need to “fix” ourselves in some way to attract and sustain a loving relationship.
From Fixing Yourself to Expressing Your Gifts
Oftentimes, the media, society and even some relationship gurus encourage approaching love from the outside-in.
For singles, that means changing the way you look, playing hard to get and “acting” confident. For couples, it means a myriad of “tips” for a “quick fix,” which don’t touch the heart and soul of what makes true intimacy work and last.
At worst, you’re encouraged to lead with gimmicks, games or an airbrushed version of yourself, and to minimize — or dismiss completely — your precious inner authenticity.
Well, you’ve been handed the wrong map to love!
If you want true, deep love, the journey must be from the inside out!
The greatest truth about love, whether it’s about finding it or growing it is this: If you want lasting love, you must learn to lead with your soul — your deepest, truest, most essential self.
This is the more authentic, heartfelt and vulnerable approach to finding the love you want — one in which you make every moment along the way an opportunity for becoming more beautifully, powerfully YOU.
On this new path, you discover how to let go of old beliefs, including the need to “impress,” “win over,” “attract,” or “seduce” your lifemate. You experience a journey of self-revelation, in which you learn to embrace ALL parts of yourself and share your true self with others.
As you shift to this deeper understanding and orientation, you end up with many unexpected benefits in ALL of your relationships. You laugh more. You develop the capacity for real intimacy. You realize you CAN be loved, desired and appreciated for being you…
Most importantly, you come to see that what you thought were the “warts” you had to hide from others in order to be loved, are actually gifts. And your relationship wounds gradually stop being obstacles to unconditional love. In fact, you find that they hold unexpected blessings for you and others and the nourishing foundations for true intimacy and the love you desire.
The Power of a Skilled Guide
Ken Page is a true master of this work. His Psychology Today articles have received an explosive response, and his writings have received the acclaim of such experts as New York Times bestselling author and 18-time Oprah guest, Harville Hendrix, and worldwide bestselling author of The Soulmate Secret, Arielle Ford.
Until meeting Ken Page, we, at the Shift Network, were never inspired enough to accept the opportunities we’ve had to present dating or “soulmate” programs.
But Ken is the real deal — he’s not only an acclaimed psychotherapist, he’s also a soulful guide who offers a perspective that turns the journey to love into a path of liberation.
In The Heart & Soul of True Intimacy — a course for people at all stages of the intimacy journey, single or coupled — Ken will lead you step-by-step to discover the Core Gifts that are your true intimacy genius.
You’ll learn how to realign your beliefs, habits and attitudes so that you can connect with others from this powerful, creative, heart-full place — your most loving, authentic Self. Honing this capability is your single greatest forecaster of finding great love — and keeping it alive.
The beauty of this journey is that the focus is NOT on “fixing” yourself (or your partner), but on embracing ALL of who you are — and honoring and expressing your innate gifts.
This shift changes everything. Instead of holding the whip of self-improvement over your head, you’ll learn to value, trust and express the authentic YOU.
You’ll also find that you can open to deeper love, greater acceptance and more creativity in that most precious relationship of all — the relationship that most defines the quality of your life — your relationship to yourself!
Ken will help you unravel your old beliefs and illuminate a path to love that is authentic and fulfilling — often feeling like a joyful adventure! He’ll draw from the latest psychological research, as well as deep spiritual practices, to empower you to change your romantic future by bringing the magic of your unique gifts into your relationship — or your dating life.
And this approach actually favors those of us who are in our thirties, forties, fifties and above — Ken was married just before turning 60! — because we’re tired of the games, and committed to finding love that lasts.
No matter your age, circumstances, body type or the unique challenges you face, these lessons apply to you! And please note that this course embraces people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.
Finding (and deepening) soulmate love comes from discovering and celebrating your most authentic self.
You can find your Core Gifts in the places where life touches you most deeply — whether in joy or in pain. Your Core Gifts are as unique as your fingerprints. And they come from the most surprising place of all — your vulnerability!
When you embrace your Core Gifts, you’re connected to the very source of love within yourself, because your Core Gifts are the deepest, most defining parts of your being. When you discover them and learn to honor their unique magic, your life will begin to transform.
You’ll come to understand your romantic history in an entirely new way, and you’ll see how these gifts can lead you to the kind of love you’ve been seeking or wanting to cultivate with your partner.
This gift-based approach isn’t just the path to romantic happiness, it’s the path to a life that’s rich with love in all its manifestations.
During this transformational 7-step program you’ll discover:
- How to discover your innate intimacy genius
- The “SourceWisdom” practice: the most powerful practice Ken knows for transforming your entire intimacy journey
- How the parts of yourself you were taught to suppress are in fact the true keys to rich, lifelong, soulmate intimacy
- A new, liberating and joyful way to understand your entire intimacy journey
- How to love yourself first — what no one teaches us
- The quickest, most powerful way to navigate through your fear of intimacy
- How to nurture and express your Core Gifts at every stage of intimacy — from early dating to long-term committed love
- Eight essential tools for honoring and expressing your Core Gifts
- How your Core Gifts are also a portal to your own greatness and deep spiritual and personal growth
- What your Core Gifts need from you
- For singles: How to use your Core Gifts to lead you to love
- For those in relationships: How to allow your Core Gifts — and those of your loved one — to bring magic, safety and passion back into your relationship
- How to discover your own unique sexual and romantic Core Gifts
- The two most important questions for bringing deeper humanity, love and sexual depth into your relationship
The Heart & Soul of True Intimacy is for singles, those already in existing romantic relationships — even for those wanting to enrich relationships with friends and family. It’s also for those who want to discover and explore self-love. It’s for wherever you are on your intimacy journey.
As you learn Ken’s approach to cherishing and expressing your Core Gifts, you’ll start to witness powerful and hopeful shifts in your relationship or your dating life.
If you’re dating, you’ll begin to find that you’re less and less interested in people who chip away at your self-esteem. You’ll find yourself becoming more attracted to people who inspire you by their goodness, consistency and availability. If you’re in a relationship, you’ll find a growing sense of vulnerability and authenticity between you and your partner.
This is where the “rubber meets the road!”
What You’ll Discover in These 7 Modules
In this 7-part transformational intensive, you’ll discover you have the power to change your romantic future — by bringing the magic of your unique Core Gifts into your romantic life or your dating life — and turning your path to love into a journey of liberation.
Each video teaching session will build harmoniously upon the previous ones so you’ll develop a complete holistic understanding of the practices, tools and principles you’ll need to find, illuminate and sustain an authentic, fulfilling love. And don’t worry if you have to miss one or more classes — you’ll receive a recording and transcript of every class.
Module 1: The Greatest Key to Deeper Love
No matter your age, background or relationship status, your journey to deeper love is the greatest mission of your life. It can — and should — be an adventure of healing and self-discovery.
In this foundational module, you’ll discover how our culture’s myths about love have led you away from deeper intimacy. You’ll find that the parts of yourself you were taught to suppress are in fact the true keys to rich, lifelong, soulmate intimacy. And, you’ll learn a new, liberating and joyful way to understand your entire intimacy journey.
You’ll also discover the powerful, life-transforming “SourceWisdom” practice, which will enable you to immediately tap into a rich, surprising inner stream of wisdom that will give you moment-by-moment guidance in your intimacy journey.
- The 4 great myths that keep you away from love — and the liberating truths that lead you back
- The SourceWisdom practice: the single most powerful practice Ken has encountered for finding and nurturing romantic love
- Three seminal research findings everyone who cares about love should know
- Why self-improvement often leads us away from love, not toward it
- How to love yourself first: what no one teaches us
Module 2: Discovering Your Core Gifts
Your Unique Intimacy-Genius
Your Core Gifts — your points of deepest sensitivity, passion and meaning — are your greatest key to deeper love. We often think we need to hide or “fix” these vulnerable, often challenging parts of ourselves, but the reverse is true — they are the key to the love we dream of. They are our unique “intimacy-genius.”
In this class, you’ll complete a powerful process to discover your own Core Intimacy Gifts. As you come to understand and honor your Core Gifts, you’ll see your entire relationship history — your struggles, losses and joys — in a whole new way.
If you’re in a relationship, you’ll learn how to discover the precious Core Gifts of your partner. And if you’re single, you’ll learn how to discover the Core Gifts of the people you date. (The greatest gift we can give our loved ones may be the ability to recognize and value their Core Gifts.) You’ll come to envision a new future of love, grounded in the tenderness and power of your own Core Gifts: your innate intimacy-genius.
- The 4 great questions that reveal your Core Gifts
- Why honoring your Core Gifts is the great key to finding and growing love
- How to identify your own unique Core Gifts
- How to understand your entire relationship history through the lens of that awareness
- How your deepest wounds, hurts and insecurities — and your greatest joys — are portals to your Core Gifts
Module 3: Embracing & Expressing Your Core Gifts
The Magnificent Challenge of Authentic Love
To find and nourish soulmate love, we must learn to lead with our soul. In this module, you’ll discover how to live in the moment-to-moment power, tenderness and magic of your Core Gifts in your relationships.
Coupled participants will discover how they have ignored or suppressed these nuclear parts of their being in their relationship. Single people will learn how they hide these parts of themselves in their dating life.
As you learn to cherish and express your Core Gifts, be prepared to witness powerful and hopeful shifts in your relationship or your dating life. If you’re dating, you’ll begin to find that you’re less and less interested in people who chip away at your self-esteem. You’ll find yourself becoming more attracted to people who inspire you by their goodness, consistency and availability. If you’re in a relationship, you’ll find a growing sense of vulnerability and authenticity between you and your partner. This is where the “rubber meets the road.”
You’ll also start to create your own Gift Circle — a life-changing experience where the people who love you most help you name and understand your own Core Gifts.
- How to create a Gift Circle — one of the most transformative practices for discovering your Core Gifts
- How to nurture and express your Core Gifts at every stage of intimacy, from early dating to long-term committed love
- 8 essential tools for honoring and expressing your gifts
- What your Core Gifts need from you
- What no one teaches us about self-love
- For singles: Using your Core Gifts to lead you to love
- For those in relationships: Allowing your Core Gifts — and those of your loved one — to bring magic, safety and passion back into your relationship
Module 4: Healing Fear of Intimacy & Discovering Your Next Brave Step
We’ve been taught to see fear of intimacy as a pathology, but our fear of intimacy holds the key to the deepest realms of love. Fear of intimacy is part of the human condition. It’s not meant to be amputated. It’s meant to be listened to.
Our fear of intimacy is greatest where we are the most tender, most passionate, and most vulnerable. In other words where we are most capable of love! In every place we fear intimacy, there is a Core Gift waiting to be honored. When we learn to honor those precious parts of ourselves, our fear of love will begin to melt.
In this class, you’ll learn how fear of intimacy manifests at every stage in the relationship journey — from dating to long term commitment. You’ll learn techniques for listening to the language of your intimacy fears and find out what they need from you. You’ll also learn to identify your partner’s fear of intimacy and begin to learn about the Core Gifts that lie behind his or her fear.
Admitting how we push love away is nothing less than an act of personal greatness. As we find wiser ways to protect our tender inner self, and as we move past our old defensive ways of avoiding vulnerability, we often feel that love almost miraculously starts streaming into our lives.
- An entirely new way to understand fear of intimacy
- The ways you push love away — even without wanting to
- The Core Gifts lying at the heart of your fear of intimacy — and those of your beloved
- Your “next brave steps” for healing your patterns of avoidance of love
Module 5: Discovering Your Sexual & Romantic Core Gifts
Each of us also has sexual and romantic Core Gifts. This class will help you learn how to discover your own, and how to use them to deepen the magic in your relationship.
If you’re seeking lasting, deep love, it’s essential you learn the same lessons of honoring and expressing your Core Gifts — and protecting their safety — in the arena of sexuality. Unfortunately almost none of us have been taught how to do this. Instead, we’ve been taught to compare ourselves to “cookie-cutter” romantic and sexual stereotypes.
In this class, you’ll learn first and foremost, how to create sexual and romantic safety for your partner. You’ll also discover how to find your own sexual and romantic Core Gifts in the places where love begins to ignite: where tenderness meets sexual desire.
Single people will discover how the beauty of their sexual and romantic Core Gifts can build a foundation for a love that can grow and blossom. You’ll also discover solutions to the sexual issues and problems faced by many long-term couples, such as sexual stagnancy, loss of passion and differing sex drives.
All participants will learn the tools to discover and understand their own sexual and romantic Core Gifts and those of their partner. There are worlds of learning around sex that we’re never taught. And truly spiritual sex and love are based upon that learning.
- How to identify and discover your essential sexual Core Gifts
- A powerful, simple technique to profoundly deepen romantic and sexual intimacy
- Specific research-based techniques for developing and intensifying sexual and romantic connection with a partner at any stage of the intimacy journey
- How to expand your capacity to work with attractions that threaten to knock you off-balance
- The two most important questions for bringing deeper humanity, love and sexual depth into your relationship
Module 6: Rupture & Repair
Your Deepest Personal Love Lessons
Healthy love isn’t a static state. It is an ongoing process of “rupture and repair.” Amazingly, the deepest ruptures and the most profound repairs occur at the point of our Core Gifts, because it is at these points that we can be hurt the most — and where we are capable of loving with the most passion, tenderness and beauty.
Each of us has deeply embedded, often unconscious patterns of behavior that bewilder us and cause pain for us and our loved ones. These patterns demand even greater compassion, effort and patience. Most of all, they need our wisdom.
These embedded places of pain and dysfunction are in some ways the greatest gold of all, because they are our deepest love-lessons. Every time we approach them with extra wisdom, kindness and truth, our compassion grows. Our wisdom grows. And our ability to navigate the whitewaters of love increases profoundly.
With this knowledge, we can build a language of healing with our beloved — and that’s when love grows roots deep enough to withstand countless challenges.
If you’re single and looking for a relationship, you’ll also experience rupture and repair — but now you’ll know to only choose partners who are willing to do the deep work that this entails.
In this class, we will learn one of the most powerful processes to move from rupture to repair. This process — which begins by honoring your own feelings first — has the power to transform your relationships and your life. When you learn the skills of moving authentically from rupture to repair, not just “swallowing hurt,” it’s as if a shadow is lifted from your heart.
- How to extricate your Core Gifts from the wounds and defensive behaviors that surround them
- Two powerful tools to use this knowledge to find love, heal relationship wounds and build lifelong bonds of trust
- The single most powerful process we know for working through conflict in a relationship
- A simple process for naming your deepest personal love-lessons
- How to understand the deeper meaning of your intimacy pain-points
Module 7: Loving & Being Loved Into Fullness
In this final module, you’ll reflect on your learning, growth and changes during this course. Through a set of powerful and evocative exercises, you’ll deepen your understanding of your most essential Core Gifts, and chart the next steps in your own intimacy journey.
It’s essential that you learn to see your patterns of growth, and understand what holds you back and what speeds up your journey. You’ll be invited to look back and see your patterns of healing, and the things that held you back through the journey of this course.
You’ll tap into your own deepest wisdom and the wisdom of those in your course community to look ahead to the illumined path you’ve charted for yourself, the stuck points you can expect to revisit, and the wisdom that will help you through and beyond them.
In this final module, you’ll:
- Discover ways to express your Core Intimacy Gifts and how to negotiate the wounds and challenges that surround them
- Share with other class members the Core Gifts you have seen in them
- Receive guidance from your own truest Self — and your loved ones — to help you take concrete next steps in your deeper path to love
- Identify sources of support for your deeper journey into intimacy now that the course is ending
Self Help – Self Help online course
More information about Self Help:
Self-help or self-improvemenMany different self-help group programs exist, each with its own focus, techniques, associated beliefs, proponents and in some cases, leaders.
Concepts and terms originating in self-help culture and Twelve-Step culture, such as recovery, dysfunctional families, and codependency have become firmly integrated in mainstream language.
Self-help often utilizes publicly available information or support groups, on the Internet as well as in person, where people in similar situations join together.
From early examples in self-driven legal practice and home-spun advice, the connotations of the word have spread and often apply particularly to education, business,
psychology and psychotherapy, commonly distributed through the popular genre of self-help books.
According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, potential benefits of self-help groups that professionals may not be able to provide include friendship,
emotional support, experiential knowledge, identity, meaningful roles, and a sense of belonging.